home to oblivion

i should have known that it would end up like this.

that you would walk out and leave me to find my own words to deal with your absence. that this time when i needed some comiserating to fill the empty hole you left me with, i would have to pick someone else. something else.

or just use the recyled words you gave me last time. or the time before that.

it's not like i'll die without you.

it's not like we couldn't have seen it coming. you could only deny so much.

but sometimes i could see that little boy smiling out into the crowd. and sometimes, when the tears were wiped away and the notes came out clearly, it almost looked like you were happy.